prasarana hatiku tidak begitu kukuh

sudah berkali ianya runtuh

namun, aku tetap mengguris diriku sendiri



setiap kali ku bertembung, aku ingin terbang ke awangan

mencari fatamorgana ku

namun, pancaroba hidup selalu bertentangan


penerbangan yang indah terhempas ke bumi

kesakitan yang sama harus ku alami

namun, ia tetap harus diketepi



sekali terguris

selamanya merana



aku kesunyian


tiada merdunya burung berkicauan

tiada harumnya bunga di taman

tiada mekarnya rasa di hati



diriku bak sebutir pasir di pantai

mudah ditiup angin

mudah juga ditenggelami lautan

10:53 PM

It's amazing how for 3 years of your life you work hard to only get a paper certification at the end of the day. I find it fulfilling. That little piece of paper is the evidence that shows how I have lead my life in poly. The shits we go through with the tons of projects that does not stop pouring in. The enjoyments and parties we had with each submission and passing semester. The months of long holidays which end up with most of us working to sustain our ever high maintenance life.

This is but the life of a poly student. And mine is the life of a Hospitality and Tourism Management student. Yesterday I fully graduated from my course. The ceremony itself as all other ceremonies started out with the boring speeches. However, the enthusiasm of the graduands cheering for each and everyone of their course mates were making up for the boredom.

CMM, HTB, HTM and RMT. These were the four courses that were the first to graduate from the 2005 batch, since of course we were graduands of the first session of the first day.

It was a battle of the courses when the awards were given out. Being one of the best courses in Business schools and with a total of 255 graduands, HTM was of course the loudest of them all.

Yesterday was probably the last time that I will get to meet most of my course mates. Everyone will be heading in their own different paths right now.

As for me, I will be missing the times that I stay up late getting the projects done on time. Not sleeping for more than 50 hours. Walking around school like a zombie. Binging on the oh-so-cheap school food. Ogling at all the eye-candies. Gagging at the sight of the eyesores. Going for Wakeboard dry training sessions in sch and trainings at Kallang. Going for coregroup meetings with the DramaTec peeps. Skipping classes to catch a movie at the school library. Or have fish and chips with Moon. Or just for the sake of skipping.

To all my friends who graduated, my heartest congratulations!!! To those of you still in the course of study, your turn will come soon. In the meantime, enjoy school life as much as you can. There is never the same experience when you leave.

PS:

Moon - You have been with me since the time when we first step into school. I love the times when we have our "moments" that others don't seem to understand. And I am missing the times when we hang out with each other. Our friendship is one that is rooted deep in our hearts and will stay no matter what we face in the future. I love you Moon!!!

Jyuneen - It's amazing how we can click with each other on the spot without knowing each other before. You are my source of rationale when my mind fails me. You are always there for a listening ear. Even with our hectic schedules now, I know that we will keep each other in mind. I heart you my Sayang!

Abg - Eventhough we are not blood related, I have always treated you as my ABG. We share the same passions in Dance and you brought it to the next level. How I wish I could find time to do what you do best. Dance on my ABG!

Sri - We only got close when we started our stint in STB. Now we are like inseparable. We are rebellious at times. But most of the time, we are ever so gorgeous in and out of work. They say we look like twins. Even my mum agrees. You are my mother hen when I tend to get wasted which I always do whenever I am with you. We share almost the same past eventhough our paths never crossed back then. We have so much in common yet I have only truly known you since 8 months back. We have come so far in these past months. I know for a fact that we will forge our friendship deeper. I love you Sri!

Leon - You were the first person I spoke to in Psychology class. We started off slow then but we managed to get close now. Its amazing how I can click with you so well. I remember the time when I lost my handphone. You were such a Darl, not forgetting a gentleman, to accompany me to the various places in school as well as to get the new SIM card and handphone. You are another person with whom I can get wasted cause I know you will always keep me safe. Do keep in touch. I don't want to lose you. Love you Hon!

To the rest of my friends - I may not have mentioned you in this post. But you are part of me and you made my life in Poly so much more interesting. These includes all those in my classes, my Wakeboard kakis, my Drama peeps and those I made friends with at random.

11:00 PM

Ok. Every single time I get sick. I get the whole combo of sickness. My cough started from Monday and continued to escalate till today. Took MC yesterday and din go to work. Today went to work but gt gastric pains so went home earlier.

Was supposed to go out but both parties are feeling under the weather. So it got cancelled. Which is for the better. The next time it happens, I am so gonna drink to the hearts' content. Hehez... No no. I should give others a chance to get wasted.

Aniways, gastric pains are gone. But the cough is ongoing. I know for a fact that it will continue till like forever. Darn. This is what happens when U seldom fall sick.

On another note, my bank loans weren't approved. So family and I are trying to find other means of payment. Ultimately, if nothing goes as planned for now, I will defer and go for the January 2009 intake.

In the meantime, what am I going to do? Work, work and work I guess. Man, what a life!!!

10:43 PM

Yesterday I was busy applying for bank loans to pay off my school fees. Its not easy. That much I can say. I am not 21 yet this year, thus the need for guarantors and stuff like that. Went for Maybank and RHB Bank.

Hopefully it'll pull through. There's still Mendaki for me to give a shot. Hopefully Mendaki is willing to give me the maximum amount of $8000 rather than loan it to me. Also, Maybank can't give me deferred payment as my course of study is less than 24 months. RHB says it is harder to get the loan approved if I am asking for deferred.

Seems like I will have to pay the disbursed amount the moment the loan is approved. That doesn't seem much of a problem. My solution to it is to study and work at the same time. Alternatively, find a rich boyfriend or something. Hehs, won't happen.

In any case, its another wait for me. Till the next time I update.

10:21 AM

I finally got the acceptance letter that I was waiting for. I got accepted into the Bachelor of Arts in International Hotel and Tourism programme. Now I have to make the 1st payment of approx. $12,000. This has to be done by the 14th of May.

It seems like a bank trip to the different banks for me now. And a matter of getting an education loan that could pay for my continuous study.

This is the hard part. I know my financial position. Without the bank loan, I won't be able to get in this July intake. But I have to try. I definitely want to continue studying first. Thereafter, it'll be a working life for me. But for now, I gotta study.

Mom doesn't agree. She feels that I shld work first and at least get a bank loan later for the January intake. That is not my plan. I am not ready for the working world as of yet. Contrary to beliefs, it is still a paper chase out there. I am but another kiasu person trying to make my mark and my dreams come true.

It is not easy. Nothing is. The journey is just beginning.

10:08 PM

It was long ago that I last updated you on my life. Nothing much is really happening just that I am working my arse out to earn, earn and earn. Time can be turned to money and so I'd rather work than stay at hm.

Ever since the pay went up to 9 an hr, I haven't been getting a life. Its like it flew off the window. But I gt my life back last nite.

Met Leon at Clarke Quay station at 8.30pm (was supposed to be 8pm, but I was late). We were thinking of places that both of us haven't been to yet and so decided on Dbl O. Contrary to what I've heard abt the place being Mat-ified and Minah-fied, it wasn't last night.

And so the drinking begin. Trust me not to eat first before drinking. WTH. I got high like so much faster. Once again, I get the chance of not being the mother hen of the night.

By some time in the morning, I was way beyond my capacity of control. The puking started and thank god Leon was there to bring me out. Or I would have fallen of the stairs if I were to get out by myself.

Fresh air did me good. But it came to the point that I needed to slp badly. But I couldn't. Cause everytime I close my eyes, I get tickled and I would sprang up again. After some time we went back in to get my bag. But I ended up dancing again. They were playing Low *who doesn't wanna dance when they play that song???* My one song became two and then three and I don't rmb how many else.

Till finally we took my bag and I was safely brought to the cab where I conked out throughout my whole journey till I was nearing home. The night was fun. I need another session. Anyone interested?

12:56 PM