There seems to be a big gap in this post and the previous ones. It doesn't mean that I am fine. It doesn't mean that everything is settled. There are so many things that are still going on in my head, sending me into turmoil each and every time.

Yes, we are back, but why do I feel a certain void. I don't seem to believe in myself any longer. But I have no qualms in believing in you.

I lost myself in this whole process and I can't seem to find that me back. I go through the motions of life, of being yours, of loving you, but why do I still feel empty inside.

The fact that you are back should have cheered me up. Give me joy. But why do I still crumble at the end of each day. Why do I still curl up and cry.

Eveytime I'm with you, it goes away. The moment that we're apart, I lose my balance again. There is so much that I wish to say but I choose not to because I will stay strong in your presence.

It still hurts and it feels like a long way to go before I can mend myself. But I would say this, I would rather feel the hurt and all the pain, than to let you crumble and lose yourself.

It's nice to have you back.

I love you. I always have.

2:33 AM