It was a tormenting night. Everything I have ever lived for seemed to crumble to my feet. Even when by the end of it all, I knew t wasn't real, it still hurts.

There's a lot I would like to pour out but I will leave certain things withing me. One thing I know for sure, I've not been myself after that. Yes I wake up in the morning and get down to my routine. The usual branch is skipped and I'll just have tea. Yes I go to work and act normal. At least I think I act normal but people have been asking me what's wrong with me and asking me to smile more. It's a good thing I could use the menstrual reason.

It was too hard for me that night. To a point where my walls came up and I'm drowning within it. It broke me into so many infinite pieces that its hard for me to piece myself back up again. I'm doing my best. I want my own self back. This is not me. It's my other persona that is taking over. The one that knows how to handle the pain. But I don't want her to win. I need myself back. And I need you. That's all that matters.

11:28 PM