How is it possible that after so long of being alone, that when you are no longer alone... your alone time kills you.

The schedule is a bit hectic at the moment. I know its the crunch time in school and I understand that. The projects and presentation are at a crazy around this time.

I miss him so, but I'll hold. Waiting always kills. But when you meet up next, it'll be worth it.

1:30 AM

Last night was great. Ok, so I din really get to see my Kung Fu Panda. But the Never Back Down show was not that bad. Now I really feel like taking up Muay Thai so I can kick ass. hehez. wait long long.

This time round I was not wasted. Which was good. And just being with you made everything seems perfectly right. As I have said, my wall is now under lock and key. I don't have to chiong so hard to protect myself anymore. I don't have to run. I am finally accepting.

22nd June 2008, 1.17am.

ILULGF.

11:20 AM

A lot happened in such a short time. I don't even know where to begin. It feels like everything is swirling at the same time. I am confused more than ever. I hate it when my walls go up and I run as far as I can. Make me seem to be too much of a coward and a failure. In which I don't like to fail.

Before I continue with my incessant ramblings about how confused I am, let me just get some things that happened out first. Ok so lightning does strike twice at the same spot and it was great.

Dom was on Power 98fm this afternoon singing covers and originals. I miss his singing but the whole hour of live acoustic got it away. He sang my favourite song of his composition - 342. The last time he sang that was at Velvet Underground for some sort of competition. Oh yeah, will have to meet him soon for a catch up session, so he can tell me all abt his stay in Japan.

Someone confessed something and it triggered yet another something in me. That confession got me confused. I always tend to do that to myself. Let me get this straight - I do like you too and more than a friend. I felt something before and you spark it again with the confession.

I am afraid of losing the friendship and starting something new all together. Yet I am willing to give it a try. I need to meet you. We need to talk things through. I will still be the same me. Its a facade I always use when I hide my feelings. I am masked yet again.

P.S: Can I say that I may be falling for you too?

10:35 PM

Yesternite was fun to its maximum capacity. So I finally got my beloved Victoria's Secret tops that I purchased online. And so I wore my very pretty red dress yesterday when we, party angels, had our nights out.

Ok so we met up at PS and had something to eat from Mac. Thereafter we made our way to Dbl O.

Queue was uber freaking long but we got through it. Songs started a tad bit on the boring side. Till they started playing Low and that's when the party started. Oh yeah and she did get wasted at the end of the night.

Saying she wanted to sleep and puke and all those nonsense. Hehez. It was fun to see it all happen. Ouh and I met the other Pika from my Hyatt days. She was down with her bf who's back from Brunei. Glad to know the two of them are still going strong.

And was supposed to go off somewhere after the clubbing part but could not leave the drunk one and Sri. But how I regret that choice. If I had known that family was not going to be at home in the morning. I would have gladly gone. Still, its past. He said lightning doesn't strike twice at the same spot. But I'm hoping it does. =P

Tmr is going to be another hell of a party night for me!!!

10:48 PM

Ok this post is a few days overdue. Went to Cash Studio on Tuesday for a 4 hour karaoke session with Sri. The first 3 hours were free since I got this special card. Anyways, the session was spectacular, even if i say so myself.

Both Sri and me make a perfect duet. Although we were screaming and croaking at some songs - more to the rock ones, we still have a nice melodious voice for most of the songs. And yeah, we were going down memory lane by singing songs from Aqua, A1, N'SYNC, S Club 7 and many more.

It was a crazy nite and another session is up soon. Can't wait.

10:03 PM

Seriously. She needs a killing. From ME!!! I am so daym bored sitting at home. It is so unlike me. I am so used to working and earning lots of cash that when I don't work and sit at home with nothing to do, I get pissed. This anger is really only directed to one person. She sucks BIG time!!!

I need to find a new job soon. I cannot live my life like this. I need cash to pay for my bills. I need cash to have a life. Most importantly, I need cash to be able to continue my studies.

I want to go back to the Hotel industry. As much as I hate it and know how working life in a hotel is. I still love it. My job now is getting mundane. Truth be told, it is not exactly a job since I am not working every single day that I used to.

My brain is shutting down by the seconds. I am just not functioning well. I super duper hate U JT from KS. Oh how lovely it is to be able to kill someone and get away with it.

Now, lets start sending resumes out shall we.

2:41 PM