My Birthday did not really start out on a very good note. But it gradually improved. So much that I can say but I choose not to. I am one very emotional girl. Just that I do not show it often. I've always placed a jovial happy bubbly me on my face that sometimes people seem to think that I have no problems in life.

Aniways, that one message threw me off balance. Maybe I deciphered it wrongly and my emotions got the better of me. A picture without you in it will just destroy my dreams, my hope and my life. Sometimes I have nightmares and I wake up breathless. No Air.

I will never leave. No matter what the others say. And yes I do trust you. With all my heart, I really do love you.

The day was spent with the BF. None of my friends could make it. But at the end Moon came down since she was working so near. Countless Luge rides again. Hehez. That was fun. Eventhough one should never drink and drive.

Towards the end of my special day. Sri came down and surprised me with her presence. And she got me a cake. Sooooo sweet of you. The three of them tried to get me wasted. In which I really believed they succeeded. Moon, I was always your mother hen. Sri, you've seen me in a bad state before but I think not to that point.

That after burner really killed me. But it was fun. Love Love Love the day. Some times I'm the one who is really in need of a super wasted night. Though alcohol will never solve the problems.

On another note, Andrew gave me a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka for my birthday. He passed it to me while I was working the day before. Hehez. That got me real tempted to start drinking.

Oh well, at least I am still very disciplined. Yeah right. *rolls eyes*

I want to go for Halloween night tonight. Most probably at ButterFactory. Its just a matter if the rest of them can make it.

Ouh, and before I forget. Towards the end of my birthday celebration, I found out I could have a stalker on the loose. Its a long story and its not my story to tell. At least no more weird empty phone calls by anonymous caller.

One day and so many things happen. 20 years old and I've been through the ups and downs in my life. Slowly my bubble is bursting. I am a kid no more. I am an adult now. No more a teen. The responsibilities are starting to pour in. What happened to the time when we were kids and all we had to do was enjoy life without thinking of our own survival, as others were thinking about it.

I want to be that small again. Nothing to worry about and no matter what happens, everything goes according to plans.

I made a wish that day. But I told you before, my wishes don't come true. Except for the time that you drop by during my night shift. That came true. Hopefully the wish I made this time round will come true too. *clasp hands, bows head, makes a wish, blow out the candle*

1:21 PM

I just noticed I have not been blogging in much ever since I started work at PPSS. Pure lazyness I guess. I could come up with reasons of being tired after work and such but it still boils down to one thing. Me being lazy.

Sayang, I never did knew you know that I have a blog. Nor did I knew that you actually read it. Really full of surprises that always amazes me.

11:23 PM

Too many things going through my mind right now. Whatever I feel will happen is starting to happen. I don't blame them, they just want the best for me. But at the end of the day, it is still my life that I am leading.

Its not going to be fair to both parties. One side is people whom I've been with from the moment I got to this world. The other is my half. You will never be able to make everyone happy.

The question now is, at the end of the day, who should be happy? My answer is... ME.

How to be happy when I can't bear to break the heart of anyone. My heart is breaking yet no one knows. There is not a need for any of them to know about it. Let me be the sole bearer of this pain cause its no one elses'.

Give me a bucket and I pour my tears into it.
Give me your heart so I can pour my feelings.

11:48 PM

A lot has been happening thus far. But i've not updated this blog since forever. First and foremost - I got my top back. YAY!!! *jumps up and down in ecstasy*

Ahiways, I have planned a lot for my future. I want this to be it. I believe so too. But as always, shit happens. Hopefully, nothing will block whatever that I want in my life.

Spending time with the BF has been wonderful. He's so attentive to my needs. Always saying that I bully him a lot. Hehez. Truth be told, I'm just very pampered, ever since young. And I love it when people pamper me.

Just thinking about him puts a smile on my face. To know that I love someone and that I am loved right back is a truly wonderful feeling. Nothing more that I could possibly ask for.

There's so much that I could say right now but I don't know where to begin. Some are just not meant to be relayed on this site of mine.


Countless times spent together and I still do miss him. Now its getting harder to meet as we are at 2 different places that runs at different times. Nothing to worry really, I love him so that I know we'll make time for each other.

He's always full of surprises. Meeting me up after work. Coming over to my place with a cake for Mum's birthday. Small little things that I really do appreciate. One that really cares for my well being.

You always say that thank you is not needed cos whatever that you have done for me is all with love. But I still have to say...

Thank you for coming into my life and giving me all the love you've got with no boundaries.

3:05 AM