What do I really feel like right now? I am not able to answer my own questions. Everytime I try to keep myself away from you, I come running back. Will I be able to hold through with this for a long time to come?

We meet, I'm happy but after, I just hurt again. I have no idea how to help you out or comfort you at this point in time when you are feeling so muddled. I can't even help myself.

Confidence, I have it. I just don't want to let the hope fill me up. Coz I have hoped too many times in my life before, and time and time again, hope fails me. I'm already broken as it is. I just don't want to break further.

I really want to be happy. And at the end of the day, be happy with you. There was so much we already went through. To let it go just doesn't seem right.

I will keep fighting. And I will keep dying. But every time I die, I'll do my best to revive myself again and fight some more. Until a point in time when I am not able to do it any longer. But for now, I need myself badly. I need to pull through. The more pain I feel, the more I blocked it out. The more I lose myself to the demons that surrounds me.

*AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

10:30 AM