I feel the need to cry because I miss you much. I feel the need to cry because I feel insecure about myself. I feel the need to cry because there are questions left unanswered.
Our lives have been hectic ever since the change of jobs and ever since I started this course of study. But it had never been this bad. I feel guilty for not making more time for you. It made me think if it was really a good idea to take up this course in the first place.
I used to have all the time in the world for you. When I was working shifts, we could meet up almost every day. Now, when I am on fixed office hours and when I thought that it will be better for us in the future, I don't get to meet you as often. Sometimes for a few weeks.
I miss the times when our lives just revolves around the two of us. Where our conversation only had us in it. Where nothing else mattered. I know for a fact that we can have all that back. As long as I put in more effort to meet you and be with you for long periods of time.
But I need you to allow me to do that. To allow me to stay up late and wait for you to end work so that we could meet up and catch up. We used to watch late night movies and have supper - let's do that again shall we?
I really don't mind waiting for you. Or having not enough sleep for all I care about is you. And to spend time with you, to know what is happening in your life and if I could do anything to make work and life more bearable as work can kill us sometimes.
Dear sayang, I know you probably won't get to read this until a long time later as you seldom visit this page of mine. But I want you to know, that I appreciate the little things that you do for me - by giving me a call, ensuring I have had proper meals, covering me whenever we walk in the rain. I treasure these moments as much as I treasure having you as a part of my life. I love you sayang and I'm missing you very much right now.
